30 Day Journal Challenge - Day 21

Which of your personality traits do you like the most?

My ability to adapt. I am very flexible in many ways and can just run with it. Now that does come with a down side because I am incredibly bad at dealing with others who move slowly.

I was going to say my ability to find patterns and problem solving but that has even more pain in the butt downsides. My ability to predict outcomes has made me into a Cassandra a lot and I don’t like it.

30 Day Journal Challenge - Day 20

Which of your personality traits would you most like to change?

My impulsiveness. It’s funny, I don’t think most people realize just how impulsive I am. But that trait runs through my life like a giant flashing neon light if people actually looked at it. All my hobbies, activities, career projectory, I just try hard to suppress it when I am with people in my personal life. It seems to overwhelm them.

There are very few people who can hang with me on the impulsiveness train and they are the ones I hold closest to me.

30 Day Journal Challenge - Day 18

Look at your list from question 17. Which of the accomplishments did you achieve primarily for someone else?

College. Honestly even for my masters I learned a few things but the vast majority I already knew. I like to learn new skills and a lot of the skills I had to learn I already did because I needed it for work. I did it to get the paper so I could be taken more seriously.

Now if I went BACK to college, I would love to get my doctorate in Economics - with a focus in behavioral economics and focus in on healthcare. That one, that would be for me.

30 Day Journal Challenge - Day 17

Make a list of some of the accomplishments you have achieved in your life

I know I have accomplished things but honestly I can’t list them. What are accomplishments and do they even really matter. Most of the list I would list of accomplishments many others would value but to me they are just a thing that happened. Like the list, none of those would be accomplishments, they would just be experiences. College was an experience, work promotions are an experience. If I get published that would be an experience. I don’t see those as anything worth calling out in any real manner.

Got one - I have perfected peanut butter brownies AND then translated it to using a box mix so I can give the recipe to others and it doesn’t intimidate them. That I am proud of.

30 Day Journal Challenge - Day 14

Have you ever been hurt by someone you loved, but later realized the person hadn’t intentionally done anything to hurt you?

Oh boy, yes. There is this guy…

I wonder how many responses to this question started with that phrase.

He still is wonderful. Smart, sweet, witty and kind. And I know he didn’t intentionally mean to pretty much trigger an existential crisis in who I am.

He was still in love with his ex. I am not her. He wanted me to be her. I tried. I failed. I ended it because the fact that this person who I had known for so long and had been one of the few people in my life I truly felt I could be myself with wanted me to be someone else, it broke me.

He never intended it. He was in pain too. Which makes it even worse because regardless of me I didn’t want him in pain. It was one of the reasons I tried.

What is funny is my flings with him were short. Much shorter than 3 other more real long term relationships. But yet they don’t haunt me in the same way.