There are many other posts I should be publishing first but I figured I would post this first because this is pretty much a post that crosses with musings as well.
This summer I ended up attending multiple funerals. I buried many people with the last two being pretty much back to back, my Aunt Nati and my Welo. They both lived. Truly lived. Coming from amazingly large families that I am a part of, I was surrounded by love and warmth and culture and grounded me in a way that I can’t even begin to express how lucky I am to have.
At the same time I was struggling hard with dealing with other aspects of my life, as harsh realities force my hand to deal with things I simply did not want to deal with. It caused me to go into full reflection mode. Which ultimately is good. It allows me to analyze and pressure test everything. Then I can determine next steps and “clean out the closets” sort of speak. And given everything it became clear everything in my life needed a deep cleaning.
But I realized through the course of all the funerals as I was processing all of this and thinking through not just this concept but all the different things I needed to evaluate, the stuff, the hobbies, the friend groups, the activities, etc, that these all oddly still related to Death. Not individual deaths, but Death. The concept of Death. That so much of what would decide things, related to Death. Because Death itself impacts so much of our lives. But yet we as a society don’t talk about it AT ALL. At least not in any real way that is healthy. We are scared of aging, religions talk about everlasting life after death as if that would be fun and tech billionaires are chasing immortality in actual life as if that wouldn’t be annoying. People are so freaking scared of it that they create the dumbest drama on the regular basis, get drunk or stoned instead of dealing with it or do anything else than actually look it in the eye. Now it comes out as fear of failing or not being enough or no legacy or what ever but let’s be honest they aren’t finishing the sentence….before I die.
It didn’t use to be that way. So as I started to do my introspection I started to write essays for a new book. As I am a person who has a hard time sticking with one idea at a time, that totally is me. The working title is called Normalize Talking About Death. So far I have about why the fear to talk about death is bad - which goes into why Death is such a core concept of humanity that if you take away the ability to talk and discuss it in a real tangible way aka you will actually end, it actually causes society to de-evolve since we individually fail to determine are basic core concepts of our true selves. The idolization of the torture poet has led to a lot of orphaned oddly independent children which is about drug culture, media, addicts and failure of their support groups to hold them accountable often glossing over or being willfully ignorant for various reasons (I get how hard this is but not everyone deserves to be let off the hook here) and how the kids of the addicts have and continue to pay the price - had some help/input from this one from 2 additional kids of addicts who have lost their parents though they will not be named - especially since one is a minor. This might seem a little out of place since though it is about death it isn’t doesn’t seem about Death. But when you stop and think about all the concepts lying underneath drug culture specifically (this won’t be the only one touching the subject btw unfortunately damnit) it might be the one area that could be the most helped by having these conversations openly and honestly to truly save lives without loosing anything. I give examples. Anyway. If anyone tells you they KNOW what happens after you die, they are full of shit - is about how no one knows anything about anything for an actual fact about what truly happens after we die just like we do not know anything that happened to cause the big bang. It is all hypotheses and faith. We can tell you what happens to the body kinda, there are still some things that are weird we don’t fully have nailed down. Yes, I’m Catholic, but I also follow the 3rd commandment as it is intended. There are a few others but those aren’t done or have fun titles yet so I won’t name them.
Ooohh, and I am also taking classes.
I am watching on BBC Maestro Alan Moore’s Storytelling which is well worth it just to listen to him talk unusual words. That was pure joy. But sincerely well worth it. I signed up because they had him. How could I not? He is a true master storyteller. Even if I never finish any book, even if I never write another sentence ever again, watching him speak would still be worth it for my life.
Then I signed up for a romance writing class so I can learn to write romance. Given July’s failure I thought it would be wise to get some education so I can do much better the next time around. I probably won’t try a romance novel anytime soon but romance will probably sprinkle in anything I talk about purely due to the fact that love is in everything.
Then I started this week the first class of my writing workshop through a local literary group. Every Monday through the middle of October I am in a writing workshop. It’s for writing fiction which I have been out of for a while, but really this is to focus in on developing a consistent writing habit and really being able finish a project all the way through.
I’m hoping this encourages me to get things going and actually finish the essay book. Now I am doing research and ideas for the other books so that way as I get itch I can dump ideas in but I have writing time specifically for the Death book. That is the one I am committed to. That is the one I am focused on. I’m so very excited. So I am definitely making progress on this goal. So yay!
Hopefully that stays that way!