Half the battle with meetings can be the People attending them

This is a short post because I am actually going into more detail over at my professional blog on Medium. But here my other issues around meetings that I can’t post there.

I have been told that there are different reasons for not liking these aspects of meetings - I’m introverted, I’m a Virgo (yes, by a coworker in a meeting), I’m too busy, I don’t appreciate the impact on morale, etc. But no, I disagree. Some of these are just plain weird

1. Small talk at the beginning of each meeting - yes, I know, relationship building. Sure - the warm and fuzzy before the work begins. Problem is with most meetings I am already slacking, talking or have been in other meetings with the other folks multiple times that day, much less this week. I once sat in a meeting where by the time all the warm and fuzzies was over we had 7 minutes to plan a client meeting agenda….guess who just drafted it and sent for review after since jack got done.

2. We need stop trying to pretend like no one wants to be in meetings - there is always THAT person…it can take a bit to adapt to the communication styles of others, totally understand that. And sometimes going into detail is useful. Then there is a person who just can’t help themselves and feel the need to literally recap something they have said not just during that meeting but in other meetings earlier in long robust description. They are literally not adding more information. These are all aspects already known. And they communicate as if this is BRAND NEW to everyone. They might complain about meetings, but frankly it’s clear they like them. Folks who don’t like meetings might go into detail but will normally ask if everyone already knows, offer to send info for review after the meeting, open to offline conversations, etc. It is clear they want out. But those who do like meetings dominate the conversation and it is never with new info, new ideas or new approaches. It’s all recap and explaining the problem. Don’t care, stop. If someone doesn’t know the problem and it isn’t the true first time it is ever being discussed, they should call that out. Otherwise, be quiet and let those who are there to get it done, get it done. I was on a 30 minute call in which literally 6 minutes of actual discussion happened because one person took 22 minutes to keep restating the objective and issue anytime anyone said anything. Sincerely 1 person would say something that was under a minute and they would take like 3 and a half to literally restate the objective of the project…a project that had been getting worked on for months and we had weekly meetings for. This is a person who is trying hard to cover up they don’t know what they are doing or simply likes to hear themselves talk. To be clear - there are probably some people who would put me in this classification. I hope I have gotten better but I am sure I would get placed her by some folks.

3. Not the Time Not Place Person - this is the person who is there to bring up only their issue and cannot stay on topic. Not because they don’t understand, they simply aren’t interested. They could have even demanded to be included in the meeting and yet. They are there for others to know exactly the issue they are concerned about. It normally is directly effecting them and either is nebulous or weird. If you are trying to tackle a tactical emergency but then the person just keeps talking about the relationship to the client you have a Segway on your hands. Yes, Segway, we all know this impacts the client. That’s why we are trying to resolve this issue. This is not the time or place to discuss how to fix the client as a whole. Odds are the wrong people for that are on the call. Doesn’t matter to them. This is the same type of person who will stand up at a company wide and complain that there should be different toilet paper in the bathrooms because it’s too rough during open questions with the CEO (not joking, witnessed this).

4. Tangenter - I am incredibly guilty of this. I regularly ask my colleagues to pull me in on this because I know I am guilty of this. Now to be transparent, I am paid to find quicksand. I am paid to find alternatives if Plan A doesn’t work. I am paid to assess risk and ruthlessly stack rank priorities. I am also responsible for relationship building, account management etc. I sit in the field where meetings = productive while also being asked to be strategic and thoughtful around needs. These often can be diametrically opposed. Both take up a lot of time but operate in different ways. If you need to research, brainstorm, design and pressure test, that takes chucks of time to do all that. Attention switching is bad for that. But relationship building, especially with clients, means sitting on meetings that in all honesty, you don’t actually contribute a lot to but have a tendency to be a lot of them sporadic throughout the day. So tangenting in research is incredibly valuable but HORRIBLE in meetings. Plus I have ADHD so focus is either laser or nothing. These folks can derail a meeting FAST and prevent it from getting anything for the original goal done. It’s not intentional and odds are is just triggered by something someone else said that they noticed and started to go down that rabbit hole. They are annoying AF. If you are one, acknowledge it, tell your colleagues to hold you to account and stop making people have to schedule more meetings just because you have the intense focus of a dog (referring to the move up - Squirrel!)

5. Always late - I get it happens. But if it is always happening, don’t play victim to circumstance and fix it. Everyone else’s time is valuable, stop. Or say you can’t attend. Don’t make it our job to stop the progress of the meeting to catch you up. That’s on you.

6. Are you coming? - Related to the always late is the person you always have to ping. I get it, it happens. But if it is always true, dude. Come on. Decline the meeting then.

I could keep going on but I think you can guess why I didn’t put these into my professional ones. And the examples referenced are not from my current job. I am smarter than that. Plus to be clear, I don’t think a single person I currently work with would ask my CEO about upgrading toilet paper. They are too smart for that.

I will stop complaining now but I will say if you don’t follow Corporate Natalie on TikTok or Instragram, you are missing out. She feels the pain - https://www.tiktok.com/@corporatenatalie or https://www.instagram.com/corporatenatalie/

Categories of Motivation in your Career - my take

I am a firm believe that understanding why something makes you happy is way more important than what makes you happy. So often we tell people to do what they love but that’s a really weird statement. I love to eat. That does not mean I should become a competitive eater. That doesn’t even mean I should become a food critic. In fact, even though I love to bake I have no desire what so ever to open a bakery. Why? Because none of these would make me happy. That’s because I understand the why eating makes me happy. My obsession with food is not what this is about so lets stick to the topic.

Another problem with that statement is that it assumes that what makes us happy will make us happy always. Once again, not true. I used to love any death by chocolate dessert. Now, it’s just too sweet and not worth the calories. My palate changed and so did my priorities. Now I would go for some cheesecake or maybe a dark chocolate turtle candy. I didn’t like either of those when I was a kid. So understanding the why helps you to better handle the need to change direction in a way that can get you feeling happy again.

I should probably eat dinner but I’ll do that after I’m done typing this.

So I believe there are about 7 categories or types of motivators we fall into. We often have more than one, and sometimes they can conflict with each other which when we don’t acknowledge what they are can leave us feeling depleted and guilty.

So here’s my recommendation. Read through the list. See if any of these ring true to you. If more than 2 do, force rank them, not everything is of equal importance. Do not feel guilty about the choices or the order. Once you understand the why, you can then start to think in terms of the how, what, where and when.

The List.

1 - Money - this is about the money you actively make. So not like your retirement investments or “passive income” (I hate that phrase). This is your salary, tips, bonuses, side hustles and any where you effort directly impacts the amount you make. This is the one that probably gets judged the most and yet is a completely logical goal. It is also the one that can make you loose your way the fastest if you don’t have strong personal goals to help balance. Here focus is key. You can have a ton of ideas but if you don’t execute you won’t make jack. Have an accountability partner.

2 - Climbing the Ladder - This can be climbing the corporate ladder, starting your own business with the goal of franchising it, going into management, etc. The goal here is to expand your power and control in the business setting. This one is more acceptable in society but does have some judgement, especially if you are a mother. It is also one that can have the biggest impact on your personal life due to the asks. Learn to network and get a mentor(s).

3. Notoriety - This can be fame, being the subject matter expert, being asked to speak at conferences, the go to person in your field, being an Influencer. This is the one most people have a hard time admitting and don’t understand the effort that will be needed for this. It’s okay to want this one. But you also need to understand it will not come easily, you will need to work your ass off, often doing stuff for free at the beginning and will be the hardest to set work/life boundaries but will be needed for your sanity. I could go into detail but I will say just go listen to Gary V’s podcasts, he will do a much better job on this than I will.

4. Flexibility - Work from home, great vacation plan, 4 day work week, schedule work around other appointments, etc. We all understand why this is alluring but this is the one that conflicts the most with the others on this list and will call for the most sacrifices for your career.

5. Autonomy - Ability to schedule your workday yourself. To decide how to do a project yourself. The minimal amount of management and really only there when you need it. This is often one that folks who love to innovate go for. It makes sense and autonomy still can work in a team setting. But it can also be rough for a career because you can end up butting heads with others if you don’t learn how to play nice. There is really no job out there that doesn’t involve at least someone somewhere with an ask of you.

6. Sense of Accomplishment - This can be working towards a larger goal or being able to cross items off a list. Quite often these go hand in hand but not necessarily. You can work for an organization working to cure cancer that never seems to get anything formally finished and you can be miserable. You can cross off all your to-do items and feel miserable because you don’t see it contributing to a larger goal. Understanding which one or both of these might be needed to scratch that itch can really help choose what company you want to work for.

7. People - Who you work with. This can be your co-workers, your customers or both. Deriving happiness from your work environment is really all about the people for you. Knowing this can help when looking for a job, deciding on a promotion or even if you want to work from home or not.

I could go into a lot more detail. And I might break these down and do that. But really the main thing here is that none of these are bad. None of these are inherently better than another. These are really looking to decide what makes you feel like you were productive in a day. That helps to get you out of bed in the morning. That is key.

Then you can start to look at what you are good at and what fields you are interested in with a more nuanced approach that can help drill into what will get you what you really need day to day. Work is good for you because it gives us purpose. But work that doesn’t fulfill us can suck the soul out of us and impact our personal lives as well. No what makes you tick. It solves a lot of life’s problems.